Thursday, June 16, 2005

I'm going to start a campaign - a quest to liberate syllables. And it's going to be worldwide.

The objective is to convert

"Doubleyoo doubleyoo doubleyoo dot <insert website here> dot com"


"Triple dubya dot website dot com"

See how much easier that is?

I've had this idea for years, and I'm reminded of it every time I hear a radio or television commercial that cites a web address. They buzz along through the whole sales pitch, and somewhere toward the end, the whole thing slows down while the voice-over plods through what should be a very simple utterance. They could be promoting, but you can hear 'em bog down in the first three letters. "Click now for all the latest information... Dub .. ul .. yoo .. Dub .. ul .. yoo .. Dub .. ul .. yoo .. dot reallylongwebsitename dot com"

It's not all their fault, though. How did it end up that the most complicated letter in the whole alphabet appears in triplicate on the forward end of the universal format for internet information across the entire planet? And of course, it's from the most complex and patched together language available to man today ~ American English. It's too bad we don't call the internet something like the "Great Global Grid". That would cut the syllables by two thirds! "Gee-Gee-Gee" would be awesome! It just flies off the tongue. But no, we have to deal with the one letter out of the whole twenty six that doesn't even have its own original name. It's a modification of a letter before it! There's U, and then, (not even side by side in order, mind you) there's Double-U. Should've been Double-V if you compare 'em. It's the only polysyllabic letter in the whole bunch. Oooh, polysyllabic ~ Word of the Day.

But I digress...

So my solution is to cut the nine syllables of "doubleyoo doubleyoo doubleyoo" down to four with "triple dubya". Nice, clean and simple.

Now I must pause for a disclaimer at this point. This phrase in no way originates from any political enthusiasm or scheme to subliminally promote the current President. While I did, in fact, vote for the guy - not because I loved everything about him, but because the other dude was so much worse (the exact reason why 90% of the opposition voted for their guy, as opposed to actually liking what he had to offer. But that's for a whole other post.) - but I have no agenda or reason to give him free endorsement. It is simply a phonetic pronunciation of the letter, nothing more. I dare say millions of people were saying "dubya" before he ever came along.

Whattya say world? Try it for yourself. "Trip-ul-dub-ya yadda yadda dot com". Let's spread it from Delaware to darkest Africa. (OK, maybe theirs would come out more like "tree-pull-doob-yeh", but hey, it still beats what we started with.)

See how many you can spit out in ten seconds. I got two of the long ones and about ten "triple w's". That's 500% more efficient, I'd say!

And Lord knows, anything that gets advertisers to shut up quicker has got to be a good idea.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Cognitive Byproducts ~ Part Four

A continuing series of random thoughts, questions, and musings accumulated over time.

  • Shucks, seems like once a month is becoming my regular pattern. I could change my style and post little blurbs every couple days, but I don't think they'd be as refined and relevant as the bigger articles...
  • Congratulations to the two drivers I saw today who join my Top 10 Death Wish Motorists. The first is the little hottie doing 75+ and passing trucks on the curvy part of the interstate while on the phone with one hand and taking the other off the wheel to play with her hair. The second is the young brainless bastard in the compact hatchback who couldn't wait to blow by me (I was doing 70) and weave through the other two vehicles ahead so he could break the freaking sound barrier. Keep it up, you'll be dead by 20, sucker!
    I don't flip 'em off, I just salute as they go by and shake my head....
  • Went to my first Nationals game on Memorial Day. Great time. A couple strange plays that we couldn't see changed the outcome of the game. I'm listening to the last game of the series with Atlanta as I type. GO NATS! We figured out the secret to the subway ride back: Get into the end of the line into the station, and then take the next train after the crowd stuffs into the first one. Plenty of room for everyone. Thanx EW!
  • Still on my To Do list: 1) Find a gym, since I'm not leaving the desk job any time soon. 2) Speak to a patent lawyer. 3) Go to an Orioles game. 4) Get new glasses.

    Wahoo!! Nationals came back from a 6-3 eighth inning and won it 8-6!